Loving Lucius (Werescape) Page 12

  No. I turned to him and choked down a growl. "No. I never held it against them. They were my friends. They protected me. The only one among my sisters who despises Shifters doesn't seem to any longer. Me, I just wanted to be normal. Just wanted to have what everyone else had."

  "To touch somebody?" He slowly leaned forward again, an inquisitive arch to his brow.

  Probably to chase my receding gaze. What did it matter if I told him the truth about the touching? Maybe he'd leave. "Look, I never got to have normal friends. Never got to be alone with--" I just couldn't say a man. Just couldn't spit the word out. The confession was so humiliating. And Lucius--so touchable.

  Run. Hide. Jump off a cliff.

  "A man," he said the condemning words.

  My heart sank.

  My gut cringed.

  Everything was out there. Everything. Almost. Because he said it.

  "Look at me, Elise."

  I can't. He'd do something to make me say more. Or something.

  "Elise," his whisper hissed.

  "I can't," I managed not to groan.

  He grabbed me into a firm hug and pulled me against the amazing heat of his bare supple chest.

  Why the torture? I was a good person. I'd always helped others. Maybe I could have healed a few who were ill. But Langston forbade me from using my gift. Why this torture?

  "No more of this, Elise. You aren't bad. You haven't done anything wrong. Touching someone won't end the world."

  Oh, he had no idea how wrong he is. And I will surely die like this. My skin against his.

  Being held felt so good.

  Like the world would right itself.

  That I wouldn't have to fear giving birth to monsters and the lynching that would follow.

  But he had no idea what touch might instigate. The risk of some alien monster walking the Earth. "You can't say that." I shoved against the heat of his steely shoulders with both palms.

  To escape the seduction of his warm bare skin.

  Before it's too late. Before I can't push away.

  His iron embrace didn't budge. He pressed his forehead against my temple and pushed my head backward until he wormed his head around, touching his nose to mine. "Shifters are scientists, Elise. We know how things work. Gods-damn-it. Stop fighting me."

  All those muscles felt so strong. So powerful. Like he could scare away all the bad things haunting me. I didn't want to fight. Didn't want to run. But this has to end so I can try to save Violet. I shoved again.

  His grip weakened. His arms slid away.

  Not completely. He hovered so close. Too close. Breathing warm smothering breaths around me. Inescapable breaths that sucked me in closer to his flounder in the circle of his arms.

  "Tell me why you can't stand me touching you."

  Not that. How to answer? I stared at his tanned undulating flesh and tried to think of a reply. There was just so much muscle. Touchable muscle that screamed for me to touch it. Just one more time. To remember what he felt like.

  "Tell me and I'll leave." He settled back, kneeling on the floor, relinquishing his hold on me. "I'll leave, Elise. Just tell me."

  Okay. Anything to end this madness. "It's not that I can't stand touching you--"

  "You like touching me?" he asked quickly and softly.

  No. But admitting that will only find his warmth wrapped around me again. I shot him a glare. "I haven't touched you of my own accord."

  "So, you can't stand touching me."

  Why won't he listen? Maybe if I told him the truth, he'd be satisfied, thinking I liked him enough to go on living his life. Or he'd cringe at my interest in him and go on to do whatever it is he does. After all, his sire says he favors me. "No, I never wanted to touch anyone until--" I couldn't say the rest. Couldn't bring myself to finish blurting the insanity. He had never said one thing to make me feel he was attracted to me. But he's quiet now. I slid my gaze from my lap to his alert bright glinting blue eyes.

  His eyes widened. "Until what, Elise?"

  My heart cringed.

  Sinking. Fading into nonexistence. Why is he so relentless?

  "Until what, Elise?" he barely hissed with insistence.

  His expression is so caring and his tone so gentle. So what if my confession made him grimace and vanish. I lived a lonely life already.

  "Until what, Elise?" his exasperated whisper begged.

  Maybe he'd find some sort of peace in thinking my actions had been because of my interest in him. That I liked him as a woman did a man. Go on about his business and laugh at me. And he could tell his sire we made amends afterward. All of this would be over until Sherry gave birth. I stared into those blue eyes until I was so trapped in them that I couldn't think my way out of the warm air holding us so closely together. Hopefully he won't laugh in my face. "I never wanted to touch anyone until I met you."

  My tongue slid into the back of my throat.

  Choking me. Trying to shut me up. I shouldn't have said anything.

  What a mistake.

  All the air in his chest left him in one tumultuous exhalation, sinking the dips and swells of the wall of muscle that formed his chest, drawing me closer into him with the loss of his seductive mass propping me up where my last heartbeat threatened to leave me in a final departing strum.

  Silence moved in.

  Like a deadly entity. Numbing. Sucking all the sensation out of my body.

  I shouldn't have been so bold. Shouldn't have…I stared into his eyes. Hoping to drown myself in their water-blue. Deep. Deep down. And never surface.

  "Touch me, Elise."

  The world shook. Cast me out of his eyes. And I sat there staring at his mask of shock. Or disbelief. What thoughts danced in his head?

  "Touch me, Elise. See that the world won't end. I'll prove it to you."

  I can't.

  "Touch me," he said, his voice wavering with more insistence.

  The bargain. "You said you'd leave." My voice betrayed me, breaking the words into bits.

  He nodded. "After you touch me."

  "But you said--"

  "After you touch me."

  Fine. One more touch can't do anything other than change him if at all. Right? And he'd leave then. Leave me to rot away in this room. Alone. Alone was better than another discussion with him. I lifted a hand.

  Oh. No. I can't.

  My hand trembled.

  Hanging in the space between us.

  "Touch me." His unyielding stare loomed just beyond my fingers. "Elise," he droned.

  I can do this. Just to make him go. I reached.

  Hell. He was so far away.

  "It's alright. Just touch me."

  Stop talking. I had to do this. Just to make him stop talking. I reached for his cheek.

  The firmest most supple skin brushed my fingers.

  Warm. So damned warm. I just wanted to rub against it. Every inch of my body.

  His skin alone was dangerous. Addictive.

  "See. Nothing's changed."

  If he only knew.

  "I think you enjoy touching me." He chuckled a little and grinned.

  Done. I jerked my hand away from his warmth. But that adorable grin wouldn't release me.

  My stomach did a somersault.

  "Look at me, Elise."

  Why can't I just look at him? He'd be leaving now. So, he has to think we're friends. Now. I forced my gaze back to his.

  His smile had a strange warming affect. "Now, take off that stupid shirt and prove you understand the world won't end when someone touches you."

  What? Absolutely not. "We already touched." I wagged my head and gripped the placket of my shirt.

  "Elise?" His head even turned to one side enough to make his questioning tone even more commanding.

  "There's no reason for me to remove my shirt."

  His hand moved toward me, his fingers extending, reaching.

  What is he doing? I can't fight him off. Wasn't he supposed to have left? "Why did you lie to me?"


  His fingers latched onto a length of the placket above my grip on my shirt. He scowled a weird sort of smile. "Come on, Elise. I swear I won't do anything to you. I just want to prove to you that you're free of that touching taboo."

  That patronizing tone of his could have used a jab of my knee to his groin. Or a swift kick to his shins. But he was so damned big. All those muscles loomed everywhere where he towered now. Or I had tried to shrink into a ball. Wasn't I supposed to be in control?

  Yell. Just yell for help.

  "Elise," he patronized.

  "Fine. I'll do it. Don't touch me. Or my shirt."

  His hands slipped back to where he settled into a crouch, his blue jeans' denim stretched across his thick powerful thighs. And he smiled.

  Encouragingly. Why did that expression unsettle me? "You said the shirt is all. Once it's off, you leave."

  He nodded.

  Oh. Alright. I unbuttoned the five buttons and let the soft cloth slide off one arm and fall to the floor. "Go away now."

  Something twinkled in his eye.

  He moved so quickly, I lost my breath.

  Chapter Seven

  Mine, Wolf whimpered and clawed at my ribs to reach the female whose thrashing heart I smashed against my chest.

  Her wide eyes stared at me like I was the most horrific thing on Earth.

  Mark, Wolf growled.

  Quiet. Show some control and patience, or she's going to faint. But I couldn't blame Wolf for wanting her. Those curves were enough to drive a man insane. Shifter or Normal. She shouldn't have admitted her feelings for me if she didn't want me to snatch her. I couldn't rise. Couldn't walk to the door. I just wanted to kiss the breath out of those beautiful lips.

  Mine!

  Her pale-gray gaze rolled downward, away from mine.

  "Don't look away." Why did she have to? Every time I could forget about everything but her, she looked away. How can she see my feelings for her if she doesn't look at me? Well, I'd just have to show her how I feel. I scooped her up, standing with her gaping down at me.

  She froze, solid like a statue.

  Caught. Trapped. Skin-to-skin. So shocked. Alive though. Very much alive. And I'd show her she made my blood race. I turned, settling into the creaking seat of her chair with her on my lap.

  Facing me with that shocked mask.

  She crossed her arms over her breasts.

  Shifters don't rape females. "I'm not going to do anything but sit here and talk to you."

  "You made lots of promises already. Why should I believe this one?"

  Smart woman. If I wasn't in love with her, I'd be shamed enough to tuck tail and leave. "Because I'm the only person you ever wanted to touch," I whispered.

  Red crawled up her neck.

  Silly thing. I pinched her pointed chin between a thumb and index finger and tilted her face to mine. "Don't be embarrassed. My Wolf wanted you so badly that I thought I'd lose my mind back on the trail. So you don't have to be embarrassed."

  Her mouth opened as if she were planning to speak but closed most of the way.

  Just enough to look like she begged for a kiss.

  Mine!

  Gods-be-damned mutt. Mind your own business. I scanned her face.

  So long that I felt like I'd remember everything. And all she did was sit there, arms crossed over her chest. Submissively. I was such an ass. But we wanted each other. How could I prove to her that touching wouldn't kill her if we didn't?

  She blinked and almost closed her eyes for good.

  Blocking me out. Pushing me away. I couldn't leave. Had to show her what I felt. She'd understand then. I pressed my lips against the velvet of her mouth.

  She flinched, squirming in my arms, trying to lean away.

  But I wasn't going down without a fight.

  Her arms slithered to my chest and shoved.

  Not enough to do any good. So, I sucked on her soft lips. Those soft sweet lips until her arms snaked around my neck and her body relaxed.

  Caught.

  She kissed me back, her warm hands massaging the sensitive skin on the back of my shaved head.

  I went rock hard.

  Right beneath her soft little ass. But she didn't seem to notice.

  Her mouth worked to the edge of mine so far that I marched kisses across her jaw line to her throbbing neck.

  Life drummed beneath the supple flesh.

  Pulsing in a promise of salty metallic liqueur.

  Wolf growled possessively.

  "Stop," she blurted and shoved my shoulders.

  Why? She'd reacted to the kiss. Kissed me back. I leaned back from the tattling promise of the rattle of her blood coursing through her jugular.

  She struggled to lean as far away from me as possible.

  "Elise, what's wrong?"

  "No kissing either." She slapped a palm over her mouth with a knowing look in those pale-gray eyes that noted she knew I'd kiss her again.

  But she had liked it. Responded. Sank into me. Kissed me back. She's still hiding something. Something I need to know to help her feel safe. "Why?"

  She wagged her head.

  This is insane. I knocked her arm away from my shoulder and shifted her struggling body until she straddled my lap, the curves of her breasts pressed into mine. "Oh, Kitten, tell me what it is."

  She wagged her head fiercely, eyes almost shut, tears squeezing out of them.

  I leaned my face close, comforting with my presence. "Why? I can make it stop. Tell me. So we can be together."

  She turned her nose down.

  In avoidance. Well, there won't be any more of that. I forced her balking chin upward until I stared at her pinched eyelids.

  Shut. Still tears streaked her face.

  She sobbed almost silently. Her body shaking. "Please. Just go away," she begged.

  There'd be no leaving after I had her sleek little kitten curves trapped in my arms. "Why? Tell me why. Wolf needs to know because he's going to make my life hell once I leave." Not that I'm going anywhere now that I've kissed the pulse in her neck. Another lie couldn't hurt. She'll forgive me.

  "I can't." She jerked her head to the side and tried to lean.

  Why is this woman so upset? Had someone raped her? Or terrified her? "Who did this to you?" I tried to pull her gaze back by shifting her stiff shoulders. "I'll kill him. Tell me who, Elise."

  She cried out.

  Gods, I'd die if she didn't tell me. "Elise." I got a palm around the back of her head and pulled her gaze toward me. Just to hold her there until she settled down.

  "Don't. Please. No kissing." She fought my hand, pushing back with the curve of her head.

  But I got her nose right beneath mine and leaned my forehead against hers, locking her head between mine and my palm. Her eyes were shut so pitifully I'd forgive myself if she didn't confess and accept me and Wolf. Who gave a shit about forgiving anything? What I'm, doing was far worse than the talks we had on the trail. "This is just between us. You and I. And Wolf. He and I can make the past vanish. Just tell us what hurts you this much, Elise. Let me help you."

  Her eyes popped open to bore a desperate gaze through mine. "Nobody can make it go away. It's part of me. Inseparable. And if anyone learns, I'll have nowhere to go."

  Impossible. Nothing can be so horrible with a sweet little bundle of soft curves. I slid a palm to her damp cheek and tried to rub her fear away. But Wolf focused on her mesmerizing lips.

  Play, he whined.

  For a kiss. One that would make her forget, calm down. Maybe cure her of this madness so we could speak without her panicking. I leaned toward the softest things on the planet.

  She had a sixth sense about her. Some warning system that told her to turn her face away from my palm.

  "Don't," she sobbed. "We can't."

  How can a man stand this? I slid my cheek across the damp flesh of hers and tried to find her lips. Tried to make her forget and lose herself in the kiss again.

  She countered my moves. Avoidi
ng my lips right when they'd reach the corner of her mouth. To find hers slipping away. Up. Down. Left. Right. With all the Gods-damned sobbing that ripped a man's heart open.